Survived

I survived my first field trip and thank you God I did not have to do it all on my own. My class (first) and the second grade class went to the California Science Center yesterday. The kids got to wander around the museum and then we went to see an IMAX movie about the Human Body. I KNOW I will have a lot of questions to answer come Monday. haha
Needless to say it was a very long and somewhat stressful day. I have laryngitis again too so that made it difficult to wrangle children.
I've started running a lot more at the gym with my trainer and I have discovered shin splints (I think that's it). They're seriously painful! I'm hoping and praying my body will continue to get used to it after a while. Anyway....it makes doing my workout class and jumping jacks and kick boxing and all that wonderful stuff really difficult!
I measured myself again this morning...ugh. When we started in December I was 192lbs...today I'm steady at 186. Though on top of that my trainer says I've gained 5-7lbs of muscle so let's say I lost 6lbs plus the 5 that I gained in muscle is around 11 lbs? I dunno. Altogether I think I've lost 2 inches off my hips and thighs, a few inches off my arms and chest, but hardly a thing off my gut. UGH I say UGH. We go to the gym 4x a week and we have been training with a trainer since December. (He's amazing by the way!!) I guess I just wish it was more. I suppose if people who haven't seen me in a while would notice a difference, but I don't know. It's still hard to look in mirror and know I'm still a size 14 and weigh 186. Though I know it's my eatting habits. I think I love food too much. I also hate that it bothers me so much. I mean I should be thankful I'm 186 and not 286, right? But then I feel as though I am entitled to feel this way, because well...they're my feelings. And when I look in the mirror 95% of the time I see a huge fat-a$$. Though if you were to get technical I think that's mostly syco-logical. (lol I really don't know how to spell that and the spell checker was NOT helping me).
I just needed to say that. I am going to my therapist still ... and will be going back on medication soon. I am excited about that actually. It helped a lot when I used it the first time. And since the panic attacks happen around once a month now I think it's a good time to try again. Hmmm this post was a bit random.
Well, my wonderous husband needs me to help him! <3