Monday, January 12, 2009

A meandering thought

Okay ... I know this might be weird to some of you out there who read my blog. And I have a feeling a few of you would really want to convince me other wise. And I understand where you're coming from. And I honestly don't think there's much to worry about. So all that said...some days...I wish I could really be her. I wish I had the body...I wish I had the confidence. I've always felt like part of me deep down inside is that character up there in the picture, but I've always been too scared of what people would think or what people would do if they saw that side of me or even knew about it. Of course now that I've blogged about it ... people know. EEK! Shall I expect ridicule now?? I hope not. I'm not saying I'm going to suddenly go crazy and walk away from the person you know now. I understand that character up there isn't really me. But part of me wishes I had the body, the mind, the personality, the courage to be her. Is it grass is always greener on the otherside sort of thing? I feel like my life might just be a bit easier if I really, truely ... 100% didn't care. Then again...are there really that many people out there...that many woman out there that really don't care 100%?
Hmmm So now you know.


Valerie Geary said...

and the women who don't care end up on Maury..."You are NOT the father!" :) kidding... we all need outlets. I write characters... sometimes they have aspects/traits that I wish I had... sometimes they don't. Sometimes they live in worlds I wished I lived in. Maybe you should write your character. That fairy girl or whatever she is... write her diary for her. Your crazy needs a voice too... that's what I always say (okay I just started saying that just now... also I'm trying to make my comment longer than your blog! :P) Love you... and no matter what you wear... you will always be my squishy.

kwbrayton said...