Saturday, May 3, 2008

Life Wasters

I think most people how know me know that I really do enjoy genuine people and I try had to be genuine myself. So it's a bit odd that through certain situations recently I have discovered that a handful of people at my work think I am too happy, too spunky, too upbeat and that it's all a big fake. As you know I've been reading the Boundaries book and it's been making significant changes in my mind. Little by little things are being rearranged inside my head. The information I got was heartbreaking, but not for the reason that I thought it would be. I found myself becoming heartbroken over the fact that these people are wasting their life gossiping, back stabbing, being fickle and fake for no reason at all. I mean what kind of a life is it that they have the time and energy to spend talking so badly about me and most of the reason being because I'm white. Now look I know I don't know crap about what it's like to be a minority, but I've tried really hard all my life to look at people the same way. I've failed often, but I still try. I think different cultures are cool and I'd love to learn about as many as I can from people willing to teach me. But why is it that I'm on the receiving end of this shitty closed minded thinking? Apparently it's even worse that I hold Ruiz as my last name, but I'm white. Really though! Really??! Why would you waste your time and energy on this. I mean I like that people think I'm that important (pffffff), but really??! So yes, I'm hurt and Yes, I'm angry, because I honestly had no idea. And I trusted and it bit me in the backside. But I find myself saying over and over again They Do NOT define me. The will NOT define me. And that my friends is a HUGE revelation for me. HUGE! I still think come Monday it will be a bit rough, but after all I'm teaching these kids for them not for these pathetic people at my school. So they can question me, how I teach, how I am, who I am, who I talk to, and all of my bubbliness if they want to....but come on, seriously? Aren't there other things you can busy yourself with? At least I know the kinder teacher and I are in the same exact boat now. Part of me is glad I make them uncomfortable. Jesus made so many people uncomfortable they killed him for it.


aroth91 said...

HI Kristy!

I love you! I'm so sorry people are jerks. I get the same thing sometimes too. Not that I'm too bubbly, but people often assume things about you without even asking. That is my biggest complaint. people will assume and assume and base their judgments off of their own stupid assumptions, and that my friend is pure ignorance. I'm sorry you have to deal with that in the work place, especially as a teacher. you would think people in this field would be a little more mature since they are dealing with kids. Seriously, you're on the right track. They are very ignorant people and you are trying hard not to be one of them. So just take comfort in knowing that.
Love you muuuuuuaaaaahh!

Pat "the outdoor cat" Thomas said...

Oh man, that's not fun having people talking behind your back and stuff. Well, I still love you ... even though you are white.